


A good, no, very bad day

by ICanSeeClearlyNow



Series: Yuri On Ice Oneshots [10]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Balderdash, Crack, Crack Crossover, Don't panic, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy References, Humour, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, they don't ice skate, well a bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 21:09:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11067195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ICanSeeClearlyNow/pseuds/ICanSeeClearlyNow
Summary: This is just a bit of fun - enjoy poor Yuuri's bad day.  If I leave you smiling I've succeeded."Look, the plans were available in the local government offices for months,” Ango stated.“In the basement.”  Yuuri said, sarcastically





	A good, no, very bad day

**Author's Note:**

> This is a crossover crack fic. I have no excuse apart from being stuck in a traffic jam discussing philosophy with my daughter, which resulted in this idea. It’s complete balderdash, but I needed something to get the writing juices going again! I’m also sorry – not sorry for the almost blatant copying, even so I’ve changed a few things – shoot me! I own nothing, not even the words on the screen. I’m playing in a famous sandpit, happy as larry, shrieking with joy. I promise I’ve not been drinking! Much!

Yuuri staggered to the bathroom, groaning. His head was pounding and his memories of the previous evening were a complete blur. He remembered being annoyed about something, and there was shouting, but beyond that it was a blank.

He faced himself in the mirror and grimaced at the pathetic stubble that he’d managed to grow overnight. Oh gods he hated shaving, but he fumbled for the razor and shaving oil in the cabinet. As he closed the mirrored door he caught the reflection of something yellow outside the window.

“Yellow,” he thought. He carried on shaving, patted his face dry and brushed the black mess that was currently masquerading as his hair. Throwing on a Yukata and placing the towel round his neck, he walked unsteadily out of the bathroom and down the hallway. Through one of the windows he saw a bulldozer outside the onsen. The words ‘Yellow’ and ‘bulldozer’ wandered through his mind searching for a connection.

The next minute he was outside the front of the inn, pushing past his parents and sister and was laying down on his back in the path of the large yellow bulldozer that was making its way up to the entrance.

***

The sun was making its way higher into the sky as it shone down on the slightly interesting spectacle below. It was shining on the top of Ango Sakaguchi’s head making him sweat slightly in the heat. He pulled out a handkerchief and mopped his face. He looked with frustration at the disheveled young man in a green yukata laying in a muddy puddle in front of the bulldozer. The driver of the bulldozer was off to one side chatting up the irritating woman with short hair - the young man’s sister – they were sharing a cigarette. 

As the argument with young Mr Katsuki wore on the driver had claimed that it wasn’t his job to injure people with bulldozers. He was just here to remove a building. HE hadn’t been informed, Thank You Very Much, that there were people still in said building. Ango looked down (restraining himself from pulling any more of his hair out) at the young man who had crossed his arms over his chest and was giving all the appearances of trying to out glare the sun.

“Look, the plans were available in the local government offices for months,” Ango stated.

“In the basement.” Yuuri said, sarcastically.

“You and your family were given plenty of notice that the land was needed for the new high speed rail line.” Ango said, trying to sound reasonable.

“They were behind a filing cabinet, stuck on the wall!”

“Please Mr Katsuki, we can’t stay like this all day!” Ango wailed.

“I’m game – we’ll see who rusts first!” Yuuri went back to staring at the sky. The puddle was beginning to dry out in the heat and it wasn’t the most comfortable position, but Yuuri would be damned before he gave in to these bureaucratic bullies.

Giving in to the impulse to pull at his hair, Ango stalked away to phone the legal department. As Yuuri watched him walk off with narrowed eyes a shadow crossed over his face. Glancing up at the shadow, he saw silver hair and a puzzled smile.

I few years ago Yuuri had met Viktor at an ice skating rink while Viktor was on holiday in Japan, they bonded over the ice and their complete inability to stay upright, although Viktor was far more relaxed about it than Yuuri and managed to pick it up far too quickly (suspiciously quickly). Every few months Viktor would wander into Yuuri’s life, turn it upside down and wander off again. Yuuri adored him, but he frustrated Yuuri no end.

“Yuuri! Whatever are you doing laying down in dirty water like that?” Viktor offered Yuuri a hand. “Come on, I’ll buy you a drink.”

“No. If it’s escaped your attention, the government is trying to demolish our home! If I don’t stay here that bureaucratic idiot over there will instruct the driver to destroy our inn!”

“I see,” commented Viktor. He paused thoughtfully placing one finger over his mouth. “I know!” He said; you could practically see the light bulb over his head. He pranced over to Ango and after a quick conversation they both came over to Yuuri.

“Come on Yuuri! Up you get!”

“Viktor!”

“Oh yes,” Viktor exclaimed brightly,” and Mr Sakaguchi if you’ll just take Yuuri’s place.” Ango looked at Viktor with astonishment on his face. “Oh didn’t I explain, in order for Yuuri to get up, you have to take his place and then I can take Yuuri off to a bar where I need to have a very important conversation with him.”

Something about Viktor’s intense stare seemed to scramble Ango’s brain as without commenting he slowly lay down in the puddle. Viktor pulled Yuuri up, and called out to his family to hurry up and join him and Yuuri at the bar down the road.

“Viktor,” Yuuri said with intense frustration. “What on earth are you doing?“

“Come on Yuuri, it’s very important that you come, now, and have a drink … or three.” Viktor glanced at the sky, “Very important,” he repeated.

As they walked away, Ango looked at the driver of the bulldozer from his position on the damp ground. The driver was walking over to him with a huge grin. Ango groaned and brought an arm across his face. This was not a good day.

“But …” Yuuri wasn’t given any time to complain as he was hauled off down the road at quite a fast pace.

“No time.” Viktor sang, “I’ll explain over drinks.” As they reached the door of the bar he heard a crashing noise and a brick flew past.

“What … No … the onsen!”

“That won’t matter.”

“What do you mean it won’t matter!” Yuuri shouted.

“Well, the world’s going to end,” Viktor shrugged.

“What in gods name are you talking about.” Yuuri looked at Viktor as if he’d gone mad.

“Yes,” Viktor looked at his watch. “In about 4 minutes I’d say, just enough time for some sake. Bring your towel.”

**Author's Note:**

> I can’t believe I rattled this off in an hour. I’ll have to go and see how wrong I got it now from the original book! I wonder if you can guess with Anime Ango is from? How to take revenge on an Anime character? Write them in as an idiot in a fanfic!
> 
> Come chat about YOI or anything really on tumblr my url is @narcissuspseudonarcissus and comments are great.


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